Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts

I tried to do my own fillers, here is what happened! πŸ‘Ά Grandma Trials at 60 Summers

hello everybody Welcome to Royal Cloud it's a quick update today I forgot to do my show last night I can't believe that I was terribly busy yesterday closing down all my social media accounts I do this often but I thought one had been closed down already and it wasn't it was still up and running so I've tried again to close them down and what they do is they say you can close it down but we'll keep it live but hidden for 30 days or something and then the minute you accidentally log in it's live again so you have to not log in for 30 days which is very difficult if it's all over your phone all over the you know your emails and things like that you we're always pressing things aren't we accidentally so um yeah I just got uh really sick of the way when people Googled me all that was coming up were my social media accounts and of course what that does to you psychologically is it says there's a you know if you're trying to launch something it says oh you've got to keep putting into this social media so you know I had sort of three or four that I was dealing with LinkedIn and um Facebook but lots of pages on Facebook and Instagram so it's dealing with all of that and then you you sort of feel oh gosh I need to hello Romeo how are you you know you sort of have to do more updates all the time because you're if they're going to your social media you want everything to be current of course you do this is how it works this is how they get you you're stirring and um so yeah eventually I just thought no no I need to get rid of it all so I got rid of it all and because I've got rid of all of that I've woken up this morning with nothing to do I can actually take some time off I built a little um sort of portfolio on the internet and I thought if anybody finds that they find it and if they don't they don't and actually a bit of a tip it's eckward who've done it for me well I did it myself ecwid and it's free if you're not linking it to a shop you know a sort of Facebook shop or an Instagram shop and I thought no I don't want to do that I'm far too Posh to do to sell on these places this is the other thing I was finding that um you know there was no really that my client base isn't people who use social media unfortunately what are you doing I think he wants to go and have his breakfast go on then go on then um so anyway I'm going to make him go another way and there we go let's go on the other side so yes uh I I feel sort of a big sense of relief today that I don't have to do much um except meet mum later on and I'm going to go and find some I want to do a recycled jacket but sort of something like a puffer jacket but a patchwork puffer jacket but ready for sort of um when I can take stop wearing my huge waterproof cycling gabardine thing looks like a tent that I that I wear when I go cycling so um my next sort of uh my all my designs are up on online you can find them if you hunt around um I serve learn designs you should be able to find them but uh I I really want to be able to wear you know a completely recycled wardrobe um and I haven't been buying clothes for months and months now new clothes I no longer buy new clothes but I I do feel that I need to be sort of modeling I suppose or you know walking around wearing these Exquisite designer recycled clothes to show people to show the world that it you know it can be done now yesterday I did a couple of podcasts for piano and cello and I woke up this morning but a little bit sore and it just goes to show actually that even a little bit of practice is going to hurt but nothing like you know how I used to feel but it does tell me that you know I have to keep these lessons pretty short but really lovely to have those back end so I'll do a little piano thing maybe this evening and the wonderful thing about having an electric piano um Aroma is eating in the background obviously as he always does you see the thing is when I start the podcast he's sleeping somewhere in the vicinity of the four poster bed probably underneath it and then he hears me talking and he wakes up and he comes and says hello and then he goes and eats and this is why every time I'm doing my podcast he's always around it's because he's just woken up because I'm talking and of course he thinks I'm talking to him um anyway a completely on a tangent there but the rest of the day is to be lounging oh I tell you what I did want to tell you do you know what I did yesterday I did my own fillers with a hyaluronic High hyaluronic pen so I bought a hyaluronic pen from Amazon for about 60 pounds I think and if you don't know it's it's a very um fast pump of air that doesn't go as deep into the skin as a needle okay and you Crank It Up put your filler in the top first Crank It Up twist the nozzle down one or two notches and put it on your skin and fire it and anyway I did two lots because I liked it so much and I thought this isn't I can't feel anything going in I'm not sure if it's working that's how pain-free it is anyway I've woken up this morning beautiful I mean I'm absolutely beautiful Darlings now I've had fillers before but they're injected and they go quite deep and they never leave but these ones are shallow ones and they do leave um and I'm totally and utterly obsessed with this hyaluronic pen it was much less invasive than the injected fillers and the other thing that happens with the injected fillers they they move you know big I've got big clumps of filler that have completely moved I mean don't get me wrong I'm way better looking than um I I was looking like I'd had a very Haggard rock and roll life which of course I had a rock and roll life will show on your face Darlings and I was very rock and roll me and the gutter were were bedfellows you know so it's a bit a bit like that so I had to sort of and of course I had cancer and and when you have a an illness which goes on like that for years it was for years because I didn't know I had it and I was very anemic it shows in your you know every part of your weary body but particularly your face um and I was anemic for years quite a few years so I mean I remember thinking why do I feel so awful and I actually thought I was I was in a flat and I thought I must be being poisoned by you know the gas um a sort of faulty leak in the gas I was you know I was convinced that there was something wrong but it just didn't occur to me that it was cancer and that I was anemic I don't know why um or because you know I was having very bad hangovers because I was up for days running a club and you know doing all sorts of things and it I just it everything was masked do you know what I mean anyway whenever when it was all sorted and then after that menopause I looked in the mirror and the face was completely and utterly um I don't know what to say it was it was a face I didn't recognize it was completely not my face and it happened in over a couple of years and I thought gosh what's occurred you know I I looked far older than I was um and it didn't suit me it didn't suit my brain my mind because darling it's your mind that's important when when you're living a life not your body but if your body or your face is affecting your mind you need to do something about it that's my opinion but you know lots of people don't care and good for them but I'm not of that ilk at this particular time in my life anyway so the hyaluronic pen penetrates it just into the the first few layers it's a bit like you know when I do my um poke tattooing it's very similar um we're not going too deep and it's lovely to think that you know this and it also disperses sooner I don't know I think they only last a few months um so we'll see I'll keep you updated on that but I did my chin and my jaw and my neck which was a little bit tender I must say but I couldn't really feel things going in until a few hours later I felt quite achy so last night when I went to bed I almost took a painkiller but not not quite it wasn't quite enough to take a painkiller but I was a bit aware of it to see and I did put a bit on my cheekbones as well so I've I've had a crash course in in doing them you can do them yourselves but of course you you know you I have to give a disclaimer here it's it can be very dangerous if you get it wrong don't go around Don't Go Near your eyes or anything um I mean I'm not sure you can do the round your baggy eyes I'll have to look that up I'll don't worry I'll be putting this in my aesthetic um blog thing I do a podcast for the Aesthetics I will I will be talking about all my beauty treatments because you know when you do when you experiment so much like I do it's it's quite a good thing to share the joy so the philicostomy it was actually 130 pounds but then I found it cheaper I found it for 80 pounds and it's probably going to do about 10 treatments 10 you know 10 episodes um so compared to the the similar thing I was having was profilo which was 185 for one treatment and it didn't make any difference the second time do you see so so all these treatments that you have and my main fillers were costing me about 500 a shot so about about two grand a year now I I still think I'll have to go and see my lovely Charlotte who does my um my my deep fillers but I don't think I'll have to go and see her quite so often but I'm not you know 100 sure of that um but I'm thrilled absolutely thrilled that you know superb results really superb but also you have to remember I do sort of know about skin because I'm a tattooist already and a semi-permanent you know I do SMP so I I'm aware of skin and how it works especially on myself so I did have a little bit of a an advantage there so I wouldn't recommend it unless you're experienced or you're you know you understand that there are risks involved but funnily enough I can feel the ones in my cheek this morning a little bit a little bit um I suppose I've stretched my skin Darlings anyway there we go that's enough waffle about my face um so I'm gonna have a day off I'm gonna go and look for some uh clothes that I really like and I'm going to do a big load of amazing recycled beautiful clothing um in the coming weeks especially for me for myself because I'm going to be a walking advertisement and I'm going to be making loads of these little free websites so this first one is I serve learn dreams which is me dreaming of a world where everything is recycled I'll do another one with all my films on it and I'll do you know I close down my YouTube as well I didn't close it down the thing is if you do too much people find the rubbish you know as well as the good stuff and I just I really just want the the beautiful stuff on online because part of you know creating a beautiful life is creating perfection in the detail so I've got that in my head today I want you know everything that anyone can see of me anywhere to be perfect I'm I think when you work with recycled things you have to look to Perfection because these Fabrics are imperfect and it's very easy to recycle something and for the whole thing to look shabby and that's not the look I want and it's the same I suppose with my music I don't want any corner of my music or my clothing my design or my body or my face to show an imperfection that's my goal and and I definitely think it's because I'm working with recycled things because you you take imperfections and you adapt them and that's really exciting I think and of course I'm totally imperfect but I'm adapting it I'm adapting the it that's me so there we go I'll be back um I'll chat later I won't forget my jazz show tonight um I can't believe I forgot it I was very tired I'd been working so very hard um so I'll speak to you later and um yeah what more can I say I serve learn at Telltale Club

iServalan Presents Welcome to a world of music and chat with iServalan #books #bookclub #taletellerclub #iserrvalan #podcasts #freepodcast #audiobooks #grandma #πŸ‘΅ #favourites #classicbooks #bestfreebooks #lovebooks #library #onlinebooks   #iservalan  iServalan is also artist in residence at the Tale Teller Club creating superb art and composing great tracks at the Tale Teller Club arts network.

Cancer Therapy πŸ’Š Recordings Podcast by iServalan at Tale Teller Club


hello gorgeous people of the internet welcome to Friday do you know what I don't think I've done a podcast all week and possibly a bit longer I can't remember when the last one was now I've thrown myself into music production and I was working on a piece and it was so bad that it took me much longer than anticipated and I it gave me IBS what was wrong with it was because I couldn't get the vocal right because I'm not a singer I'm a terrible singer in fact I don't it's not even so much I think about sounding awful it's about having no pleasure in doing it and this is so interesting isn't it because I'm a talker I love to talk but I hate to sing perhaps that's because you know as a child I was told it was horrible or you know maybe there's some psychological thing I mean I there was a DJ who told me that I couldn't sing and he'd never play my music but I think long before that you know from from being very very young I never ever wanted to be a singer I never even I never wanted to front a band I absolutely cannot find a minuscule amount of pleasure when I sing I don't even like the choir I joined a choir once I think to make friends way back in the day I was in my 30s and I had a bunch of kids and no friends I'd come back from Africa and it may have been I come back from London and in between I was between cities and when you're between the cities it's very very hard to create a new network of friends quite often actually when your kids are at school you you build connections there and I definitely remember doing that and it that may be how I ended up at the orchestra oh sorry at the choir but it was very very religious obviously it was a church choir I don't know what I expected but it was quite a high church and actually now I've been using choral music um early choral music very early sort of Renaissance in in my um music I love it but I don't want to sing it and the church was always cold and funny enough it was the same church that I used to go bell ringing in when I was a a kid when I was about 14 I went to a couple of quite expensive schools and I went to this day school for a bit and we we like to smoke and we would pretend to go bell ringing on a Wednesday night and we might go for sort of two minutes and then we'd go off and have a [ __ ] you know around the back of a shop a closed shop in the village and then go home armed with the knowledge that we were indeed Cutting Edge Rebels lovely times lovely times I doubt there are many people that pretended to go bell ringing so they could have a cigarette much classy I'd say that was classy but the cigarettes weren't horrible Little Things um and where you could buy them then you know we could just go into shops and buy cigarettes can you believe that I'm talking about 1960 1970 maybe 1978 or 76 maybe 1976 so so actually quite a long time ago anyway um that's enough of that so I really I made this vocal and I used my um male robot flex and he wasn't getting the bits right and I think when you have this ideal in your ear about what you want your singer to do and he doesn't do it it can be quite frustrating but of course he's only doing what I tell him and I was just getting it more and more wrong anyway I did finally finish it but it was a really paired down version of it so I haven't used the lyrics in the songs so I want to I'm I'm not going to be beaten by this and I think this is the thing with music I mean I want to release one track a day which I'm on target for I mean literally the last 12 days I've released track a day how marvelous is that it's a great way to learn I've learned masses I'm verging on Experts actually when it not when it comes to singing though but certainly with music production absolutely I'm feeling very very confident that I there isn't much I couldn't produce which and I think that's rather good isn't it that's pretty good to feel like that so it's actually contemplating you know about sort of taking on managing somebody in next year finding a singer or a band and creating them um I mean I don't know if I'll do that I'll see how I feel next year the thing with being a manager is you you you're sort of obliged to give them money or to make money and I'm trying to leave that stress behind me do you see anyway my singles are out today so I did this one track and it's called Love Boat and I do actually really like it but the I re I'd written this whole song and I envisaged a pop song but it ended up being very paired down lyrically and it's a dance track which I love it's really nice however it I don't feel it challenged me in the writing a pop song contest that I've given myself so it's back to the drawing board and I'm going to try again with this extended lyric maybe I'll do something with it you know like change the timing or something it's a problem with a dance track is you know as soon as you've got it at 140 BPM and then you have um what else did I have the drums you know and four four time it automatically immediately sort of goes into dance so then I put a jazz swing on it which I really really like so I'm gonna maybe think about or perhaps if I can't do a pop song per se perhaps I could do a kind of jazz thing I mean it would for me it would be a sort of jazz fusion it would have to be that's you know that's how I work but I really like jazz and I'm quite good at it I'm quite good at jazz piano and stuff like that so I think I might run with that over the weekend but anyway look guys tonight I'm out this afternoon sorry I'm off to the club with Mama and my work is done what time is it it's 11 35 the other track I released today is a music therapy track which my my Reigns series so how that works is I use Rife recordings which I have healing powers and I incorporate them into my cello and I lay rain sounds over the top and now sort of self-hypnosis for healing now I'm not going to tell you that they definitely work I am not going to tell you that they definitely don't work what I am going to tell you is that when you listen to drones of a certain frequency your body does respond so even if you're just using them to relax I think that's as good a promise that I can make they're definitely relaxing but you need headphones because you won't hear the vibrations properly without headphones they're dissipated throughout the room unless you've got very good Acoustics of course that would work equally well so I can only upload as one track with my distributor a track that lasts less than 10 minutes so what I suggest is that you put you download it or or buy it or well you have the thing is we're on iTunes and Spotify and Amazon we're also on on YouTube and I suggest you just Loop it and then you can just listen to it on repeat and that and then fall asleep with it you know I don't know how you'd fall asleep with headphones on I've tried that it doesn't work personally I don't like the ones you stick in your ear what do you think I I like the ones that cup you know the really soft I like those they sort of cut out the world more it feels like they do and I'll tell you what else is really good in this weather you keep your ears warm yeah how cool is that so you can sort of but the problem with these headphones and modern roads is that you really have to have your wits about you so I never I never listen whilst cycling or if I was to do that I would have one earring and the other ear out you know a lot of cycling accidents and Road accidents pedestrian accidents happen because the person the victim didn't hear anything coming fact so it's really important Euros are very important to understanding the world around you so there we go um so other news is there any other news I was pretty um struck down this week with with um kidney problems clearly caused by my extra wine that a man bought the problem with the club it's not a problem but what it is sort of this why I've got my workout done early because the problem the inverse column commas with the club is people buy your drinks it's just like the old days Darlings do you know what the club is full of quite elderly gentlemen and an elderly gentleman passed upon us and he wasn't that elderly it was about 80 and in my book that's not too elderly actually now I as I get older I think the older the um the catchment area for that word becomes so where when I was you know 18 anyone over 20 was ancient um but now that I'm 60 and proud anyone over 85.90 I will consider elderly so and mum's nearly 80 you know so anyway he was probably about 80 and he ambled along actually to talk to my mother more than myself obviously because you know he he I think he'd been married twice and he had the that look about him you know that look where he they sort of think ah he's a victim my poor mother it's very glamorous lady anyway uh we said we started talking I completely took over because he started going on about petition in India and he started coming out with these very old-fashioned racist views and I it just got my back up um he was you know promoting British colonialism and how you know I'm not even going to say what he said because I I actually can't reproduce it it was so such a narrow field of viewpoint that it's not worth I I can't because I transcribe all of these broadcasts I don't want that written in any transcription that I have anything to do with um but anyway he was he he tried and failed because I've I'm quite up on partition I also wrote a music track a dance track called petition and I feel very upset about it and you know how the how everything occurred and the horrors of the reality of you know leaving stranded um people a people who you've demanded divide up into sections you know with it with a border and with these hard borders that crossed villages um and Keith and kin were had to walk thousands and thousands of miles to get to Pakistan I mean just bloody awful anyway I knew my staff and and I didn't give him a chance really because I've when the thing is when you have a debate with somebody who appears especially this sort of generation of men they kind of appear knowledgeable they project knowledge and you know of course we all want to project knowledge that we want to project something that tells you know the people that are listening the audience that we we know our [ __ ] as it were and um you know we we always want to present our best side of course we do but there's definitely a type of man and let's hope that they've been eradicated through the evolution of humanity let's hope they're over now well this he's probably almost a lot and now I I'm saying his last generation but he's probably not actually um and he he mansplaining there we go that's what it is it's quite simply mansplaining Darlings and I hadn't asked for mansplaining but once he started to mansplain I had to woman's plane um and my poor mother was just I felt bad afterwards actually but you know the wine was flowing he was buying drinks and the wine was flowing and I'm I'm quite good humid when I'm attacking I'm not a vicious malicious uh debater but I am loud anyway we had quite a few wines probably about a bottle each I don't know it was three large ones I had no yeah that's probably about a bottle isn't it six little ones three large ones and the next day I felt absolutely fine because of course I'm on this yogurt a high protein diet which it makes my stomach sing it's a singing beautiful happy stomach but a couple of days later I was hit by um cystitis and this kidney problem and it's they put me on HRT to try and stop it but obviously the wine was stronger than the HRT so I I started to feel really shivery and I just couldn't keep warm by Monday nothing could keep me warm and you know we've got this we're trying to well calm down on the old heating front but I've had to put the heating on I mean my dream of getting through winter without putting heating on is was over by November so alas we're eight degrees I think today five degrees at night which you I realize that you may be in Alaska and uh New York gets much colder doesn't it and that you you'll laugh in the face of my pathetic shivering but for me it was just very cold so today I feel much much better in fact I felt a bit better yesterday and went to mum's for dinner that was really nice but it took a few days so I'm getting around to telling you that I'm going to try not to drink too much today because three is too much I think two is manageable but today Mum Mum's the same she's going to go on to Brandy today now I have no idea how that will fare on the innards of the Martian s but I will let you know because we we like to have a drink mum and I you know we like to we like to argue with mansplainers we like them buying us drinks so that we're armed for the arguing um and we generally like to have a good time and some time off work so new single today was called Love Boat I'm not going to play that I'll maybe do that tomorrow over the weekend I'll play some of my new singles because I've done so many and so I sort of I need to register them with my publishing people and I think they're all on YouTube now already so quite quite a lot of dance music I've released but also the therapy for cancer track which I just released just now as well so all in all very very productive Darlings and it means that I can go out and and really have some you know relaxing time I think that's important isn't it just a chance to just take five from the busyness but I tell you what I left my um my Facebook and then I I was on my phone and obviously there's a bookmark I think it's called a bookmark isn't it my my phone remembered the old Facebook and I accidentally logged in and I've had to start the deletion process again and they make it very difficult for you to leave Facebook really really hard but they give you they when you start to delete an account they give you 30 days before it's actually dead so I've just got to make sure I don't accidentally log in again because there you are and it's all up and running again which is infuriating because now it's not going to be dead until the 1st of January so but at coming off that I started another one a little one I'm going to limit myself to 20 people and it's really nice because there's no stress absolutely no stress involved at all and I love that I really love that I think when you start sharing your life publicly it can be very stressful um so what I did also my my new Facebook page I've got my AI of course for the artworks for the for the music really that's the main reason and I put in I described myself as a 60 year old woman with brown eyes and braids who loves a cat and you the the pictures it gave me back were hilarious I mean I don't think I look 60 I think I look about 70. and then I thought well this is quite nice actually it's quite nice to use that so I'm that's what I'm going to do I'm going to use these photographs as my sort of public persona because you know everything's a fake anyway and you know these are the idealized images the the mirror because my AI is a mirror of society and I thought well that's what Society expects a 60 year old woman to be of course that's built on how the AI works is it uses all the pictures it can access Through Time and filtering and face augmentations are quite new so you have to remember that as well so probably it's a stylized version from the really the culmination of 150 years of photography I'm guessing that's what it is um and I was looking at it the longer I looked I thought you know what she's quite beautiful really I mean she does look um really American a sort of as American is that the right word I think so very polished really polished but really old with a cat that doesn't really look anything like my Romeo who I'm getting on with a bit better by the way anyway look I've chatted enough and I'm going to um I'm going to go and get ready oh one more thing actually I will share with you guys I've joined an actors agency so I need to take some photographs some headshots and they don't they're headshots without filters which is like eek gosh really that's tough so I'm going to do a sort of a beautiful makeup in really good light but without filters so I'm going to put those up today um but I thought next year because next year I'm going to join the Soho House Club in Brighton and I'm going to go up to Brighton once a month to the spa have a swim go to my club and join an actor's agency and just have do some life-changing things and that's why I'm doing a song a day at the moment because I want to have in January I want to have a little bit of a rest from um you know the sort of endless uh production it's I love music so it doesn't feel like work but it is production do you see so I want to have a bit of a I want to have January off to treat myself to some sort of um just more relaxing things I think and January's so Grim anyway it's so bloody cold but I've got a fur coat faux Darlings faux fur I've got a faux fur coat and I've got a faux fur hat I thought I'm just going to go on the train when they're not on strike we've got a lot of strikes here at the moment don't blame them our government's lousy and they don't they don't pay nearly enough for our public servants and our services it's it and you know what I saw an interview recently with an American Economist and you know the Americans have got a lot uh a really good idea about economics I mean they're very business savvy and he said that there's no point not giving anybody rises in Pay salary raises Rises salary Rises because what happens is they don't have enough money to spend on the economy and the economy shrinks and I just thought why why did why it happened our government thought of that is that a really simplistic way of looking at things but you know if nobody can afford to buy anything the economy is not going to grow but I tell you what guys I watched the business programs every morning because I you know I'm a music producer so I do have a business um and I I use digital and Tech every day of my life a lot of digital and Tech and my product is global so I like to keep abreast of you know the business of things the trends and although we may be in a recession and quite a lot of Europe is in a recession the new businesses that are coming through are not they're they're finding it that they're in you know they're they're able to make a profit and some older businesses that have just adapted are also making a profit so when you start thinking about that you think right okay that means I can make a profit so the utilization I think of tech is and digitization is actually one way of making a profit profit because of course you don't you don't need staff anymore so we've I've talked before about how we're going to manage our play time in the Advent of a new life the decade where you know really we only have to work half the time do you know businesses who who are using four day weeks stay equally productive as businesses who are on five days a week and interestingly enough I only work the mornings I only produce music in the mornings and I'm I'm actually producing more than I've ever produced in my entire life so the the balance of course is difficult because we you know the Devil Makes work for Idle Hands of course it does so we're going to have to learn now as human beings especially someone like me who was brought up in an age where actually you know being an artist was a very labor intensive being a musician was very labor intensive um so I've done you know by the time I'm a hundred which I really do believe I'm going to get to because of my wonderful Rock and Roll Lifestyle or should I say despite it I would have seen almost the industrialized age what it was we had steel plants and shipbuilding and and things that were you know version burgeoning um industries from the Industrial Revolution were still here and and it's moved I've watched the movement now into the tech age the tech Generations the digitized virtual meta generation and and how that affects me as a producer not a technical producer but just a producer and of output of musical output of literature what's interesting actually is I started writing about a year or two ago because it was something I could do on my own it was something that I could apply myself to that didn't require other people and this is during lockdown but now I've discovered that I can I have a whole Orchestra you know and obviously that's I say obviously because I'm a musician primarily that's take completely taken over from the writing I actually I'm not sure I like writing anymore I'm not sure I I mean obviously I've done quite a bit and I've done well poetry and short stories but I'm not sure I want to write a novel anymore it's sort of you know that ship has sailed I'm much more interested in applying music but applying music to storytelling is something I find very exciting anyway look for such a short broadcast this went on quite a long time I told you I like to chat so it was an absolute pleasure I it's time for my lunchtime coffee and um preening preening ahead uh love from Royal Clarence Marina

Coping with IBS the curse of modern living

 hey guys welcome to Royal Clarence I am three coffees in feeling a bit better actually but not 100 perfect now when you get an IBS attack it doesn't start it starts very suddenly or it can do but it doesn't stop suddenly you have to sort of repair because you've built up this huge sensitivity and your guts are going crazy and nothing you can do absolutely nothing I've tried all my life because I've been it's been a major problem for me and I've tried everything to get rid of the pain quickly and there is nothing a drink a you know something that will help you relax like a glass of wine is pretty good but it just masks it for you know uh 12 hours or so so I'm still in the throes really of a very bad bout of it caused by the cauliflower so cauliflower is the devil incarnate and will be avoided now for the rest of my life um however the coffee's helping and the Vodka last night did help a little and it it got me off to sleep and I had a reasonable night and the best we can hope for I think at you know our advancing age in the final quarter is a good night's sleep we're desperate aren't we desperate for it anyway I've been making some art I've made I've designed some new single covers for the band Telltale club and I really like them and I really like this idea of linking my art to my music it makes my artwork feel so much less random I think the the I was contemplating connecting with the universe today connect I do this a lot how as an artist who's bid on the Spectrum you know how do you make sure that you somehow you're somehow integrating with the world and I like words I'm a Wordsmith and I obviously my poetry is what my song's all about and it's about communicating and just sort of getting people to listen to you that's how I feel about my art and with so much art now being done by AI it's it's even harder to connect and find an audience and um explain to the people that may like your work this is this is where I'm coming from this is what I do this is how you know I explain to you what what I mean I mean that that's really what all my work's been about since since I was very very young because I'm so misunderstood you see do we all think we're misunderstood I don't know perhaps it's just part of the human condition anyway I like words so I've put I'm putting words on my artworks um for the you know that relate to the music that I'm writing and I'm really enjoying that I find it has a sort of graphic solution I grew up and was trained in an era where the graphic designer the graphic artist was very important in art we you know you were trained with lecture set I don't know if any of you remember lecture set it was a system of sort of transfers and you had to if you did writing on an artwork because before computers and you had to get the letter set these transfers and you have you had to apply them letter by letter onto the surface of your artwork I mean unbelievably long-winded that's what we did and I like this uh this process is actually very therapeutic of course the letters were always going wrong because they'd if you accidentally creased them because they were on a sort of cellophane uh some sort of plastic sheeting and you'd put them upside down so you'd have to do them depending sometimes you had to do them backwards and all sorts of things and you put them upside down and then you'd rub with a pencil or a buffer on the top side then you'd peel the plastic off I mean that's how graphic posters were designed it's amazing isn't it to think that that we had to go through this very laborious process anyway I come from that sort of history and I like words and paint and I like visuals and music and for me as a sort of multi a multimedia autism it sounds so wanky doesn't it but I am I what I work in several different mediums um and genres you know so linking everything with this with these words about Telltale Club is I'm finding this very satisfying this morning so I've put them on Redbubble but Redbubble constantly say write me a letter and say we have to check this out because they don't want they don't realize that I am teller Club um I don't know why because my red bubbles called tail Telegraph but they have to because people are collecting royalties on my behalf so I'm signed up for the PRS um thing in the UK so I'm doing that so they're collecting royalties for for my music and also of course tune core collecting royalties for my music and the title isn't as important as the sound so it you know they have to do all these checks because the internet's going nuts with like who is this person trying to copy Telltale Club anyway I really like the ones I put up today really really like them of course I like all my work you have to as an artist I think I mean it's imperative and even the bad stuff I wouldn't constitute as bad per se it's just as the standard goes for my um my Excellence my inner Excellence sort of litmus paper some are not as satisfying as others but they're perhaps poignant in other ways and I prop them up so I was quite pleased this morning to have done that but I'm having a bit of a day off I'm going to go and nurse my poor tummy and um you know find find something that can perhaps get me through the rest of the week because this IBS isn't going to suddenly stop um it's going to you know niggle it's going to be niggly so it usually affects me for for three or four days sometimes as long as a week so I just have to do lots of tummy rubbing and what have you now getting back to which what this podcast was supposed to be about of course I always get sidetracked getting back to not spending any money I spent about a hundred pounds on really when you look at your bank account you think I didn't need that I didn't need that and I'm supposed to be doing this thing well I've done very well because most months I spend a couple of thousand so I think I've done very well only spending a hundred but the things that I bought apart from the gold leaf everything else has been a waste so I'm looking at the bank statement today and I'm thinking right I have to get back to this idea of not spending anything so I'm going to be really really strict I'm not going to buy anything to resell either in the eBay shop um and I'm only going to produce my record covers I'm not going to produce any sort of artwork that requires paint or anything like that mind you I've got loads so I'm going to try even harder I'm not going to consider this month as a failure because I didn't buy anything I think the the idea is that I you know I get I improve and I stop being addicted to shopping so that's what I'm that that's the Endeavor Darlings that is the Endeavor so we've got Christmas coming up so I'm you know making things with what I have around and I I've got quite a lot around um I've got a lovely Art Studio filled with with all sorts of really nice things um so that that's the update I haven't been brilliant but I've been way better and you know I've resisted putting the heating on much much more than I did last year where I just had the heating on all the time can you believe that last year I had the heating on 24 7. I mean it's not firing up 24 7. you know it does its thing three three or four times a day but such a waste and I've really really clamped down on that so and the best way for me to do that is just turn it off because it just tried to come on because I've got the French doors open I like to get that fresh air in the morning darling um so news today is I'm resting I'm a failed shopaholic but I'm back in rehab okay I'm back in rehab Darlings and go and have a look at Redbubble for the the new artwork I put up today because I really like it if you like that sort of thing and I they're quite cheap red bubbles so they produce things quite cheaply which I think is fabulous cool and fabulous um so there we go I'll chat to you a bit later on the music show is um probably going to involve I'm looking for some open throat singing stuff for you and I do I remember that from yesterday so if I find something later on today on Google I'll um I'll download it and then I'll share it with you because I think it's really interesting actually really really interesting so of Hua bonsoir back later