sarnia de la mare

Sarnia de la Mare FRSA

Artist • Composer • Educator

Sarnia is a multidisciplinary artist and founder of Tale Teller Club Politico UK . Their immersive work blends art, sound, and story—exploring identity, transformation, and the beauty of otherness.

As a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts and founder of the Sarnia de la Maré Academy of Arts, they empower creatives to think radically and create fearlessly, whilst seeking truth.


Showing posts with label BAC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BAC. Show all posts

Apr 19, 2025

Countess Diaries Ch 5, The Phantom Gallery of Challenging Art #funny #comedy


Countess Diaries Ch 5, The Phantom Gallery of Challenging Art

The evening finds me in a contemplative mood as I admire the latest addition to the palace’s burgeoning art collection: the “village chief” mask from Dennis Druvo’s Ghanaian treasures. It now occupies a position of quiet dignity within the pantry, nestled between the jars of lentils and the baking powder. If its spirit is indeed as wise as Dennis assures me, it shall surely preside over my culinary endeavors with benevolence—though I fear even spectral guidance may not redeem my attempts at soufflé.

This, of course, is not the first time I have found myself navigating the delicate dance of artful diplomacy. Over the years, I have become something of an expert at the subtle relocation of "challenging" pieces to less conspicuous corners of my palace. The gallery beneath the stairs, for instance, boasts a particularly enthusiastic abstract of what I believe to be an elephant balancing on a turnip, though I have never dared ask the artist for confirmation. Similarly, the linen closet houses a ceramic bust so... unique that even Dominicus, who delights in knocking objects from shelves, refuses to disturb it.

Yet each piece tells a story, and it is in these stories that I find their redemption. Take, for instance, the Ashanti warrior mask, which now guards the seldom-used third-floor bathroom. Its fierce visage lends the space an air of defiance, as if challenging any interloper to question why a bathroom exists on the third floor at all. It is a room of mystery, now imbued with a layer of myth.

I often imagine the stories these works will inspire in future generations. “Did you hear about the Countess of Brighton and Hackney?” they’ll say. “Her pantry was guarded by a village chief, and her laundry cupboard housed a sculpture so peculiar it frightened her cat!”

For me, this discreet curatorial habit is not deceit but an art in itself. To display every piece prominently would risk overwhelming the palace’s delicate harmony, and yet to dismiss them outright would be unthinkably rude—an affront to both the artist and my station as a patron. The solution, therefore, lies in crafting a palace where every work finds its place, no matter how unconventional.

And so, with a final glance at the mask, I close the pantry door, leaving the chief to commune with the dried apricots. Tomorrow, I shall tackle the question of where to place the Ashanti farmer. Perhaps the attic? Or the cupboard under the stairs? Wherever he lands, I have no doubt his machete will lend an air of industrious protection to the space.

Ah, the life of a patron is never dull.


©2024 Sarnia de la Mare



Books by Author Sarnia de la Maré FRSA


Quick look
Toddle Poddle: Issue 2 (Rat Gang Crew and Friends)
Kindle Edition
$6.00
Other formats: Paperback




Quick look
Strata 14: The Journey to the Edge (Fear of Death) (The Book of Immersion 16)
Kindle Edition
$6.32
Other formats: Paperback




Quick look
Elderescence: A Manifesto (Elderescence Academy Book 2)
Kindle Edition
$9.99
Other formats: Hardcover, Paperback




Quick look
Tea Cup Shorts: V1
Kindle Edition
$4.99
Other formats: Paperback




Quick look
Strata 13: The Fight (Hormones) (The Book of Immersion 17)
Kindle Edition
$0.99




Quick look
Handmade by Sarnia, Eco Winter Warmers: Elderescence Academy: Recycled Fashion
5.0 out of 5 stars15.0 out of 5 stars. 1 customer reviews
Kindle Edition
$6.50
Other formats: Paperback




Quick look
Strata 12: Shabra and the Basement People (Emotions) (The Book of Immersion 15)
Kindle Edition
$1.32




Quick look
Strata 10: Dinfant Trouble (Synthetic Love) (The Book of Immersion 14)
Kindle Edition
$0.99




Quick look
Strata 11: The Crossroads (Guessing) (The Book of Immersion 12)
Kindle Edition
$0.99




Quick look
Strata 9: Limerence (Loins and Lust) (The Book of Immersion 13)
Kindle Edition
$0.99




Quick look
Feminism, AI, Big Tech, and Societal Issues: Navigating the Nexus (The Humanitarian...
Kindle Edition
$3.99
Other formats: Paperback




Quick look
Strata 8: Shabra (Laws of Attraction) (The Book of Immersion)
Kindle Edition
$0.99



Books by Sarnia de la Mare

Quick look
Strata 7: Jarome and the Scritters (Trade and Barter) (The Book of Immersion)
Kindle Edition
$0.99




Quick look
Strata 6: Trouble at the Bank (Animal Instincts) (The Book of Immersion)
Kindle Edition
$0.99




Quick look
Strata 5: Renyke Goes to The Bank (Memories and Experiences) (The Book of...
Kindle Edition
$0.99

Nov 21, 2024

Countess Diaries Forward The 'Memoirs of a Countess by the Countess of Brighton and Hackney


Pasha du Valentine, the Countess of Brighton and Hackney

Brighton Arts Club Flyer

Hear ye, gentle readers, for thou art privileged to bask in the luminous presence of me, the Countess of Brighton and Hackney, a lady of singular refinement, unparalleled intellect, and dazzling wit—or so it is only proper to acknowledge. I have been bestowed with the greatest gifts of fortune: a title that commands respect (or, at the very least, mild amusement), a domicile that brims with artistic splendor (and suspicious cats), and a disposition as benevolent as the sun itself, so long as thou dost not cross me.

It is true, alas, that Brighton—though charming in its shingly shore and Hackney—though burgeoning with culture, are, by my reckoning, mere provinces. Yet these lands are mine to rule with a velvet-gloved fist (the glove hides a minor wine stain). The subjects who dwell therein—be they punks, poets, or the occasional itinerant filmmaker—are blessed indeed to call me their Countess.

Though born of the finest lineage (never mind which), I chose to spurn the dull tedium of courtly life for the effervescent chaos of the creative rabble. Here, amidst the painted guttersnipes and underdressed libertines, I reign supreme—hostess of salons, orchestrator of bacchanals, and patroness of the arts. None who cross my threshold depart unchanged (or unpaid, if they’ve done the dishes).

It is my noble duty to document my escapades, and lo, my diaries shall illuminate the age with tales of scandal, revelry, and occasional calamity. The cat, for instance, remains unconvinced of my importance but warms to me when turkey is on offer.

Shouldst thou seek wisdom, laughter, or the sheer effervescence of a life well-lived and unapologetically extravagant, thou hast come to the right place. But be warned: the Countess of Brighton and Hackney demands loyalty, reverence, and an appropriate level of groveling. Those who fail to comply will be forever relegated to the common riff-raff—and worse, spoken of unfavorably in these very diaries.

Now, dear reader, gird thy loins, uncork the Madeira, and prepare to accompany me on this most extraordinary journey through the absurdities of life, art, and the indignities of owning a feline who shows no respect for my station. Let us begin.


woman transexual theatre performer smoking cigarette moustache





Books by Author Sarnia de la Maré FRSA Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Toddle Poddle: Issue 2 (Rat Gang Crew and Friends) Book 2 of 2: Rat Gang Crew and Friends Kindle Edition $6.00 Other formats: Paperback Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 14: The Journey to the Edge (Fear of Death) (The Book of Immersion 16) Book 13 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $6.32 Other formats: Paperback Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Elderescence: A Manifesto (Elderescence Academy Book 2) Book 2 of 2: Elderescence Academy Kindle Edition $9.99 Other formats: Hardcover, Paperback Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Tea Cup Shorts: V1 Part of: Tea Cup Shorts (1 books) Kindle Edition $4.99 Other formats: Paperback Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 13: The Fight (Hormones) (The Book of Immersion 17) Book 14 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $0.99 Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Handmade by Sarnia, Eco Winter Warmers: Elderescence Academy: Recycled Fashion Book 1 of 2: Elderescence Academy 5.0 out of 5 stars15.0 out of 5 stars. 1 customer reviews Kindle Edition $6.50 Other formats: Paperback Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 12: Shabra and the Basement People (Emotions) (The Book of Immersion 15) Book 12 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $1.32 Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 10: Dinfant Trouble (Synthetic Love) (The Book of Immersion 14) Book 11 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $0.99 Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 11: The Crossroads (Guessing) (The Book of Immersion 12) Book 9 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $0.99 Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 9: Limerence (Loins and Lust) (The Book of Immersion 13) Book 10 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $0.99 Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Feminism, AI, Big Tech, and Societal Issues: Navigating the Nexus (The Humanitarian... Book 3 of 3: The Humanitarian AI Kindle Edition $3.99 Other formats: Paperback Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 8: Shabra (Laws of Attraction) (The Book of Immersion) Book 8 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $0.99 Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 7: Jarome and the Scritters (Trade and Barter) (The Book of Immersion) Book 7 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $0.99 Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 6: Trouble at the Bank (Animal Instincts) (The Book of Immersion) Book 6 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $0.99 Books by Sarnia de la Mare Quick look Strata 5: Renyke Goes to The Bank (Memories and Experiences) (The Book of... Book 5 of 14: The Book of Immersion Kindle Edition $0.99

Music for Goddamn Media at the Brighton Arts Club

 


painting portrait